|
Brats Yarns

This page is for your stories of amusing incidents both during the three
years at Halton and during our
many years of service all over the world.
There must be many interesting stories lurking in our memories in the
thousands of service/years the 68th have between us. This is the place to share them - but do remember, the
world is watching, so, if in doubt about offending someone or security, 'mum's
the word'.

Halton Days
| Submitted by: Brian McCarthy - (Published on 20 May 01) |
|
Astra - camp cinema, very popular with brats, notwithstanding the mayhem to
get in through the side entrance. Price of admission was 6d I believe. Senior Entries
took the privilege to go to the front of the half hour or so queue, occasionally
some of them using the heads of the junior brats as a walkway!. There was a
great surge when the metal door opened. The bulky cinema manager hurled himself
at the heaving mass to little avail. Then suddenly all went quiet - you were
inside - you'd made it. You could now look forward to the roar and shouts of
"Good old Fred" as Fred Quimby's name came up on the credits for 'Tom
and Gerry'.
There was that time when, during a cowboy film, I forget the title,
when the uproar was such that a screen appeared (not for the first time, or
last) with the
warning 'Until the unruly behaviour stops the film will continue to roll but
without sound or vision' - or something to that effect. We were only cheering
the fact that the hero named 'Ring' had found the lost heroine. "Where did
you find her Ring?" one of the gang asked.
|
| Submitted by: Brian McCarthy - (Published on 20 May 01) |
|
Innocent I was in
those days, I thought 'camp bicycle' was one of those black 'sit-up and beg' bikes one
could borrow from the SWO. Couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. I was later
to learn that it was one of those lie down and beg friendly local lasses they were talking
about.
|

Post- Halton
Days
| Submitted by: Brian McCarthy - (Published on 20 May 01) |
| Whilst serving in Jever 2nd TAF, I had bought a 1937 BMW
for the grand sum of twenty pounds. (I had the original Logbook; complete
with swastikas). It was not, understandably, in good condition for that
price. On being posted back to the UK for a Bristol Bloodhound course I
decided at the last minute to take it with me. Just in case it didn't make
it, I packed everything in two suitcases so that I could dump the car en
route and continue my journey on foot and public transport. The
journey went well in spite of my having to top up the radiator every
hundred kilometers due to a leaky water pump. When I arrived at Dover, HM
Customs and Excise asked for papers. I had none apart from the original
logbook. After some amusement they got over that problem. They then asked
me for £110 import tax i.e. 110%. I told them it only cost £20. They
were not interested. I asked them what they would do if I refused to pay.
"We will confiscate your vehicle" was their smug reply.
"It's yours" I said as I took my two suitcases out of the car
and proceeded to leave the Customs hall. "Stop" they called.
"We didn't mean confiscate, we meant impound and you will have to pay
warehouse charges until you pay the tax." It was rumoured that
the AA would dump cars outside territorial waters for twenty pounds. I
started negotiations with the local AA official. In the meantime the HM
C&E had been doing some checking of their own. I think they were
having second thoughts about garaging this very leaky vehicle.
"We've spoken to London and they've given us permission to give an on
the spot valuation as opposed to the book price." they said.
"Please show this official any faults with the car and we'll see what
we can come up with". I walked with him around the car. "There's
the leak of course. The stop light is made from half a beer bottle. The
speedo is broken but I've replaced it with a Mach meter (I'd contrived an
arrangement of a vane in the slipstream and pushrods.) It drops out of
third, hence the sprung bolt mechanism under the dash" etc. etc.
"Will a valuation of £10 be acceptable? That means £11 to
pay". "Fine" I said. By this time, that is four and a half
hours later, the customs hall was awash with rusty water. After some help
from the AA to top up and clear up, I was on my way. |
|